Candice is a busy wife to Matt and mom of Noah (5) and Tyler (3 going on 21). Candice also works part-time at our Rosebank Store of Christian Book Discounters. In her spare time Candice writes for her own blog and is a travel consultant.

It’s tragic sometimes ~ only when people go, do you realise how much they meant. That’s a really sad thought. But it happened to me today.

Today I found out that the doctor who delivered both my babies had passed away. I struggled with this when I found out. I cried for what she had been to me and really, we only ever had conversations during mandatory ultrasounds and pregnancy check-ups but I’ll always have her close for what she meant to me from 13 March 2009.

I knew I was pregnant and I was one of four people on the planet who knew my secret. I had no idea where I would have my baby. I had no idea where to book myself in for an ultrasound and check-up. I had no idea I was supposed to be taking vitamins! I didn’t even know how far along I was exactly ~ I just knew I was pregnant. From there, I was walking into the unknown.

I couldn’t even summon up the courage to make the appointment. Having to deal with being pregnant, and everything that’s attached to being a “church girl”, unmarried and pregnant, having to make an appointment just meant facing another mountain. It meant that it was real. Until then, I had nothing to confirm that inside me, my Noah was being formed and shaped. I couldn’t see him from the outside so at times when I wanted to ignore the reality of what was actually happening to me and the massive amount of drama I was about to cause for everyone in my life, I could tune out. Making an appointment meant admitting my shortfall. It meant facing the consequence of my actions and accepting my plunge into motherhood.

The only stipulation I made was that I wanted it to be a female doctor. Matt called the switchboard at the hospital closest to us. (Bless his heart, he’s always been the one to step up when I just couldn’t fathom it. Love him.) He asked if he could make an appointment with one of the doctors for a pre-natal check-up. The lady on the switchboard said that she didn’t think we would get an appointment for at least a month but she put us through anyway. On the other side of the phone, the receptionist told us that she had a cancellation for 13 March and she could fit us in. We booked and I had two weeks to prepare myself.

It’s here that looking back, I begin to see God’s hand guiding me when I felt He was the furthest away. I had pushed Him so far out of my life, I didn’t even think He cared because I’d failed Him so greatly. I landed a doctor, RANDOMLY or not so randomly, who loved Jesus. Out of all the doctors in the hospital, I got her.

On 13 March 2009, my first real ante-natal scan and check-up, I met this lady who was the first person to tell me, to my face, that God doesn’t make mistakes. Every single birth is miraculous. Every baby is a blessing. She didn’t know my story (she never did know my story, I never got to tell her) and she didn’t know what I was walking through BUT she was a voice of calm in my life. She was my voice of reassurance. I think it was my eight month check-up, I was walking out and she gave me a hug, held me at arm’s length and said to me “I just wanted to tell you that I see you. And more than I see you, Jesus sees you. Noah is coming, and you can’t do anything about that (she always was really straight forward! HA HA) but we’re a team. I might deliver him to you on this earth, but Noah really is a delivery from the Saviour. God chose you to be his mother, not for any other time, but for right now. Never forget that.”  That changed my life.

Thank you for being one of the many miracles on my journey. Thank you for never asking me any questions but listening to your heart, offering me words and shoulders and hugs when you could feel I was wilting. Considering the timing of our meeting and the role you played in my life I never doubt how intimately Jesus is involved in my life. Even today.

Me:  A guilt-ridden, shame-soaked girl, struggling to keep her head up.

You:  A messenger from my Father, sent to intercept my life for His divine purpose at a time when I felt like I didn’t really matter, to anyone. You’re the reason that I began to realise that it’s not about how I see myself, but more about how Jesus sees me.

Never doubt the people who cross your path ~ some of them might just give you reason to believe that Jesus sees you and is there, camping with you in the trenches of your life when you think He’s left you to fight it out on your own.

Here’s to you, Dr Jean Sharpe ~ captain of my encouragement team.

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Frank Retief was pastor at St James Church Cape Town for 31 years, having planted the church in 1968 with his wife Beulah.  He became the Presiding Bishop of the Church of England in South Africa until he retired in 2010.  Frank remains active in ministry through preaching, teaching, pastoral work & writing, and has authored a number of books.

Jesus and the Money Man …..

Luke 5 v 31. “Jesus answered them: ‘It is not the healthy who need the doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

At the beginning of the chapter Peter is called by Jesus from his fishing boat. Now Levi is called from his tax collectors’ tables. Jesus’ recruits do not really match up to smart company. For at least three reasons Levi is an unlikely choice as a disciple. First, he worked for the despised Roman imperialists, second, he belonged to a class of people reckoned to be extortionists and fraudulent and, third, as tax collectors they were in contact with Gentiles which made them ceremonially unclean. Thus they were regarded socially as belonging to the lowest class, akin with prostitutes and other social outcasts.When Levi met Jesus, how did he respond? He exercised a love and concern for all his former fellow sinners and threw a large dinner party at which all his former colleagues could meet Jesus and hear him preach.Here is something we can learn. Of course evangelistic dinners are not new to us but it is refreshing to see the spontaneity with which Levi did this.But not all were impressed; the Pharisees and the teachers of the law criticized Jesus for eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners (4 v 30) Jesus’ answer quoted above is priceless. If doctors never visited the sick for fear of contamination how would they ever be healed?By the same token if preachers only preached to the converted, how would sinners ever hear the good news?

But behind Jesus’ answer was a deeper barb. Did the Pharisees and teachers of the law not see themselves as sinners? Probably not, but they were in the same need of a Saviour as the people they despised. But the tax collectors and prostitutes and other sinners knew they were sinners. They knew they needed a Saviour. They knew they were in need of forgiveness. But who would be the Saviour and forgive them? The answer is of course, Jesus Christ.

Those who never see themselves in need of God’s forgiveness, live on in pride and pay a bitter price in the end.

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Devotion by Trevor Bradley

Do you ever wake up full of the ‘joys’, only to have that ripped away and replaced by the unexpected?  The foundations of your world have gone from immovable to marshmellow …

There’s a start to a chapter in 2 Chronicles 20 that showcases this.  It starts out like this – “AND THEN IT HAPPENED” …. They never saw it coming.

Max Lucado says: “GOD will see you through this.It might not be painless. But HE WILL take that which seems will harm,and use it/turn it around,for your good…HE WILL see you through”

How can we be sure?….. Because of the promise HE has given to us.  Proverbs 3 vs 5-6: “Trust in the Lord (the GOD  who is able. The mover of mountains. EL- the all-powerful one) wholeheartedly (with all that is within you. Stake it all on HIM) and do not lean on own understanding (wisdom,ability,gifts).  In ALL that is happening acknowledge that HE IS in control, and HE WILL direct your ways/paths (Psalm 32 vs 8 : ‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way you must go. With my eye watching over you, I will counsel/direct you’).

That’s HIS promise to you today. HIS word of truth. HIS assurance.

SO?

Psalm 46 vs 10 says “Let go,relax,and let God be God”.   Easy?   ……. Never ….  Is it contrary to what you believe you ought to do and the system tells you to do?  You bet.  But I would rather put my “what now” in HIS hands than in the hands of anyone else.

Wouldn’t  you?

Frank Retief was pastor at St James Church Cape Town for 31 years, having planted the church in 1968 with his wife Beulah.  He became the Presiding Bishop of the Church of England in South Africa until he retired in 2010.  Frank remains active in ministry through preaching, teaching, pastoral work & writing, and has authored a number of books.

 No Answer

Luke 18 v 1. Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

For many believers it is a mystery why there are times when God just does not appear to hear their prayers, or to deliver them out of some great need. It can be very discouraging and spiritually frustrating when the Father who sustains the world and has promised to care for His own children, seems to bring no breakthrough for us. What is this all about?In the bible passage alluded to today, Jesus tells a parable about a woman who needed some help against an adversary. She turned to the law, but the law let her down because the very one who should have protected her was unjust.

What did this woman do?The answer is she persisted. The judge said “this widow keeps bothering me.” So finally he granted her request. I do not know why God does not seem to answer us immediately in our time of need. But what we all know is that our Father is not unjust, but just and caring. Listen to Jesus’ words in Luke 18 v 7. “Will He keep putting them off?” The answer is of course, no, he won’t. He will see that they get justice. Our problem is that we have the way God should answer our prayers, all worked out in our minds. But God has His own sovereign will, and according to verse 1 “We should always pray and NOT give up.” Keep trusting Him, even when there are no apparent answers from Heaven. He hears us. He is our Heavenly Father.

Prayer:  O God my strength is exhausted. I feel discouraged and very low. Still I will trust you. You know me and you know my need. Amen.

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Frank Retief was pastor at St James Church Cape Town for 31 years, having planted the church in 1968 with his wife Beulah.  He became the Presiding Bishop of the Church of England in South Africa until he retired in 2010.  Frank remains active in ministry through preaching, teaching, pastoral work & writing, and has authored a number of books.

Backslidden

Luke 22:62: “And he went outside and wept bitterly.” 

The reason for Peter’s tears was his failure to stand by Christ in his time of ordeal. Instead he denied Christ and his inner world crashed in on him. 

This is what it means to be backslidden. It is to let our love of the world supercede our love for Christ. We lose our taste for spiritual things and the view of life we once had becomes dimmed. Our lives undergo a change and we are no longer ardent about Christ nor zealous to see others brought to faith in Him. Sometimes our confusion about conversion stems from the fact that we have silently backslidden and have lost our grip on Christ.  

There are many reasons why people backslide. It could be the devil’s old trick of helping us to fall in love with the wrong person, or it could be the disapproval of family and friends, as it could be the simple busyness of life and the distractions of earning a living, paying our debts, and caring for our families. Who knows? There are a million reasons why we lose our grip on Christ. 

But here’s the thing. It may well be that your state of backsliding is evidence that you were never a real Christian in the first place and now the old life, the real you, is beginning to show through. That’s a possibility. 

On the other hand, it is possible that your backsliding is a temporary setback and you have momentarily caved into some pressure. But how do you know which? 

Well, in Peter’s case, Jesus met him later, after his resurrection and asked Peter: “Do you love me”. He asked three times. And Peter, in spite of what he must have been feeling was able to say: “Yes Lord I love you”. 

True love for Christ, rooted in the new nature, will eventually break through. The sign that you are a Christian is that you leave your backsliding and return to the Lord. Conversely the sign you are not a Christian is that you simply don’t care. Which is it with you? 

Prayer

Dear Lord, please protect me from the influences of the world, the flesh and the devil. Please keep me spiritually safe.

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