By David Murray

We’ve lost the media, we’ve lost the polls, we’ve lost the courts, we’ve lost the major parties, we’ve lost most politicians, we’ve lost the universities and colleges, we’ve lost the military, we’ve lost the workplace, and we’ve even lost many churches.

But we’ve not lost our families.

And the happy Christian family is potentially our greatest asset.

If there’s one thing that people are persuaded by, it’s happiness.

Our society has no idea how this terrible experiment with marriage and the family is going to play out in the coming years. No one can know the long-term consequences, especially for children. No supporter of gay marriage can predict the eventual impact of this massive cultural and societal revolution. It’s a fearful leap into the unknown that will result in unfathomable damage to innumerable multitudes of children (and adults). Our social services, our schools, our healthcare providers, and our criminal justice system are going to be picking up the tab for decades to come.  Read more on David Murray’s blog:

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Candice is a busy wife to Matt and mom of Noah (4) and Tyler (2 going on 21).  Candice also works part-time at our Rosebank Store of Christian Book Discounters.  In her spare time she writes her own blog & is a travel consultant.

The pressure of being a parent is immense. Moms I think especially, as our little kiddies start their lives, we carry huge burdens in terms of what people think about our kids, are we doing everything right, what would my mother have done, what do other kids think of my child? If it’s not on the good side, is that my fault?

We have a supper club that Matt and I are a part of. About 2 years ago, maybe a bit more, Matt and I went through the “Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage” course at church with two other couples and we’ve since stayed close friends. (By the way, if you haven’t done the course and you get the opportunity to, RUN, not walk, to sign up! It’s such a great way to learn more about your husband/wife in a light, fun environment.) Anyway, us three couples meet every couple of months for a get together and a dinner which is always just an awesome time for us all to chill out and catch up. Now, we have two kids, one couple has one little boy who’s nearly a year now and the other couple are having their first baby in December. You can just imagine the amount of advice flying around that room at our last dinner! After sharing our stories and funny anecdotes and do’s and don’ts to help them deal with their impending parenthood, my good friend Sim (who’s got a little boy) turned to us girls and said “the one thing I’ve learnt since becoming a mom is that I’m no one to judge. Whatever gets you through the night and whatever makes your child a happy one, that’s what you gotta keep your eyes on. What works for me, might not work for you.” And that’s stuck with me since then.

It seems that parenthood between moms especially, is a competition. Maybe it always has been and I think that every stage of your baby’s life, comes with a different facet of competition. When you’re in the baby stage, it seems that everyone wants to know how you gave birth (and everyone has an opinion as to which one is better ~ c section or natural) and once that’s out of the way, how long you breastfed for (when I mentioned I wanted to put my second baby straight onto the bottle, I was met with looks of disdain.) Then it gets down to seeing whose baby sleeps the longest at night, when your child got teeth, when your child crawled, when your child walked, when your child talked. Parents, let me warn you ~ if you’re ever asked if your child has spent even a night in your bed, be careful at your answer. This seems to be the MOST HORRIFIC parenting mistake one can make.

Let me give you a little insight into my life as a mommy and feel free to look at the computer screen with contempt ~ this time, I won’t be able to see you 🙂

Noah is 4 years old. Yes, he still has a dummy. Ok, not all the time, but yes, when his head hits the pillow to sleep, he still wants his dummy and I’m ok with that. I understand the dummy’s reign is going to come to an end soon, but right now, yes, he still has one when he sleeps.

Tyla is 2 years old and she still has a bottle. Yip, the pukka Avent bottle, not a sippy cup, not a normal cup. Look, depending on what mood she’s in, I can get her to drink out a sippy cup and a normal cup, but when she’s looking for something to soothe her, she’ll ask for her bottle. Do I give it to her? Yes, I do.

There we go. I’ve admitted just a couple of my parenting shortfalls and there are many more, believe me (Just as a side note, Noah still doesn’t sleep through the night… How’s that for sleeping through the night before they’re one? Um, try “I’m still trying to get that right at 4 years old.”)

Now, obviously there are boundaries. Noah won’t be entering 2014 with a dummy at night and my baby girl Tyla won’t be having her bottle until she’s 4 or 5. I hear you that I could’ve gotten rid of both these things earlier. Being a mom, means putting your child’s needs before your own. That sometimes means picking the harder way to solve a problem, rather than an easier one. I’ll admit I’ve up until now, bailed out on this idea in the name of sleeping, for example. Because I don’t want to fight Tyla’s crying for an hour before she sleeps, I’ll give in and give her a bottle. I always tell myself I’ll gather the strength one day to do it and that day just never comes. It’s like putting off the inevitable. Do I think that it’s a major train smash and that I’ve failed Noah as a mother because he still sleeps with a dummy? Definitely not but a day is coming where I’m going to have to get less sleep than I am now, pucker up enough resolve and strength to fight my little boy’s tears in the name of getting Noah dummy free.

No-one’s parenting journey is the same. Before I was a mom, and a child had a dummy at 3 years old, never mind 4 years old, to go to sleep with, I would totally get the “that’s just horrendous parenting” look but now that I’ve walking this parenting path, if there’s any facet of a child that I can’t identify with because my kids aren’t the same, I just look at those parents and think “hey? They’re doing a good job. Whatever works for them and gets them through a 24 hour day, awesome.” (Now let me clarify, that anything to a child’s extreme detriment, I could never condone or justify)

Let me share something with all your moms who worry that your children aren’t keeping up, that they haven’t walked early enough, that they haven’t crawled soon enough, that they don’t sleep through the night young enough:

• YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. God gave you your specific child because He chose you to be their mommy. He didn’t think anyone else could parent that child better than you could, and that’s why you get the privilege of bringing up that baby. Don’t worry about when everyone else’s child was potty trained, when everyone else’s child could form a full sentence, when everyone else’s child got their fine motor skills mastered. As long as you’re pouring your heart and soul into loving your baby as best you can, ensuring their best interests are at heart, and relying on God to help you be the best mother you can be on a daily basis, you’re doing the best that can be done for your child.

I have this little note on my phone and I refer to it every once in a while ~ to all my mommy friends out there, and all of those who know a mommy who could use this reminder, send it on.

“Dear mom who needs to be reminded that she matters ~ this is your reminder.

Nobody could be the mom you are to your children – only you can.

Now, go back to all you’re doing – your cleaning, working, driving, nose-wiping, cooking, clothes-folding, everyday things – and hold your head up high. Motherhood matters. More than having the perfect house, the perfect body, the perfect planning schedule, THE PERFECT KIDS, the perfect anything.

You are a game changer. A life changer and that is why you matter.”

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By Tim Challies

The headline says it all: “The Dawn of the Designer Babies.” Scientists have developed a new technology meant to eliminate genetic abnormalities in newborns. They do this by combining the DNA of three people instead of only two. The procedure has been successfully tested in monkeys and now the FDA is considering whether the trial should expand to humans. At first the procedure would be available only to women who are likely to pass on debilitating genetic diseases to their children. After that? Well, we can only imagine……

According to the resulting child would inherit the mother’s nucleus DNA — which contains most inherited traits like eye colour and height — but the donor’s healthy mitochondrial DNA.”

Read More ……

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Frank Retief was pastor at St James Church Cape Town for 31 years, having planted the church in 1968 with his wife Beulah.  He became the Presiding Bishop of the Church of England in South Africa until he retired in 2010.  Frank remains active in ministry through preaching, teaching , pastoral work & writing, and has authored a number of books.

The love of God

1 John 4:16 “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in Him.”

In the very early years of the 20th century there was a great Gospel singer named Charles Alexander. He was a singer who accompanied the great preachers Dr R A Torrey and Dr Wilbur Chapman on their evangelistic tours. Unknown as they are to us today they nevertheless were legends in their lifetime.

Charles married Helen Cadbury, daughter of the founder of the Cadbury Chocolate Empire. He was an educated American and she was an e3xtremely wealthy British aristocrat. But they were united in their love for Christ and Helen helped each night in the Gospel mission meetings speaking to enquirers and helping those seeking salvation.

One night at a meeting specially organised for the drunks, street people and down-and-outs Helen was in the counselling room when a woman with unkempt hair and tattered clothes came to the front. Miss Cadbury tried to explain something of the love of God to her but her eyes were dead and her ears were deaf. The only response she could make was “He loves you but he doesn’t love me.” Finally a glimmer of understanding came to her. Turning immediately to the aristocratic Helen Cadbury and looking straight into her eyes she said “Give me a kiss”. At once Mrs Alexander embraced and kissed her and the woman returned home. But she came back and Helen Alexander said she was glad to see at the meetings “clean and tidied up”.

Just a little token of the Father’s love and acceptance helped that poor woman understand God loved her in all her circumstances.

We ourselves need that assurance from time to time but do you not think if we were kinder, more affectionate and welcoming to people: more loving in word and deed, our words would carry much more weight?

Even small acts of kindness to those in spiritual need and who may be cynical about the message of Christ could go a long way in changing attitudes.

Perhaps there is someone in your circle who needs to know that God is love. “Whoever lives in love lives in God.” They need to see that and experience that. They need to feel that someone who says they love God is willing to put their arms around them dirty and smelly and unlovely as they are and pray for them and really care for them.

The same is true for everybody of every social class. The love of God must be spoken to them, but like Helen Cadbury’s actions, it sometimes needs to be seen too.

Remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 15:40: “The King will reply: ”I tell you the truth that whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me”.

Let the love of God govern all your actions and ever shine through you to all you meet, especially those who are hard to love.

Prayer:

“O God, If you loved the world and sent your Son to save them, then surely we who have been saved should demonstrate that. Instead we have often dismissed people or treated them harshly. Please forgive us our cruelty to others. May your Holy Spirit live us in such a manner that God’s love will be seen in us at all times. Amen”

Follow Frank Retief’s daily blog on http://frankretief.co.za/

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Does the end of each month bring about financial pressure?  Are there bills to be paid?  Are there bills coming that will need to be paid?  Are there strained relationships with family and/or friends that add to your pressure points of life?  Is there physical illness in your life or someone close to you that adds to your pressures?  Is there emotional fear of some type?  Has your child walked away from the LORD?

Well, if we are honest, we all have at least one if not many or all of these pressure points!  And the church of Jesus Christ in the first century was in the same situation as well – they attempted to live out their faith in the midst of spiritual, physical, relational, and financial pressures.  There was persecution, trouble, conflict and trials that led some to be unstable and double-minded (James 1:1-8, English Standard Version Study Bible) which led to anxiety, fear, despair, and depression.

Yet, there was hope and a solution – and the same are available for believers living in the pressure cooker of our 21^st century world.  The book of James gives incredibly practical wisdom from the heart and mind of the LORD and not the wisdom of the world.  This New Testament letter teaches us how to endure and actually thrive and not just survive trouble, affliction, and pressure.

The following excerpt from Lifeway’s “Pressure Points” in their new series, Bible Studies for Life, stresses these realities as well:

“I got a call from a friend whose wife was told she has cancer. I have a friend who has been married less than a year and his wife just announced to him that she’s leaving. I talked to a young dad who is devastated that he is losing his job. Meanwhile, his wife is expecting a child in a couple of months.  The Bible is full of people who were dealt hard with incredible pressure, but through faith in God and through perseverance, they went from victims to victors. In James 1 we have a game plan for overcoming trials and finding joy, even amidst those terribly unfair trials.”

So, take heart and have courage.  In the midst of whatever pressure you are facing today, you too can go from victim to victor and thrive and not just survive.

John Blanchard’s Truth for Life: A Commentary on the Epistle of James echoes the same encouragement as “no part of the Bible is more dynamically relevant to today’s ethical culture and spiritual climate than the letter of James.  It tackles twenty-first century issues head on, ruthlessly exposing our pressures and problems and showing how they can be overcome by the indwelling grace of God.”  

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